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    March 17

    What I Have Lived for

     

    Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for

    knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither

    and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair. I have sought

     love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few

     hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one

    shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it

    finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that

    saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is

    what--at last--I have found. With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of

     men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which

    number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved. Love and knowledge, so far as they

     were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain

    reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their

    sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to

     alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer. This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would

    gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

     

     

     

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